Scientific potion: Lasting Love
Turns out: you need only 7 components for your relationships to work.
According to research conducted by Edwin A. Locke PH.D. and Ellen Kenner, PH.D., the components you need include only:
- Moral character: honesty, integrity, independent judgment, a sense of justice, earned pride in yourself. Without this there can be no trust.
- Genuine (not a fake) ego. If you are selfless, there is nothing to love. A person with an ego has their own (rational) values, things they stand for, things they love, things they want for themselves. Each partner needs to support the other’s values.
- Shared some common values and interests—over and above moral values—things you both like to see and do together. Date nights can help reignite this fire. Sit down, make a plan and make it happen.
- Compatible personalities—you don’t both have to be the same but you need to mesh so that you make each other feel understood and appreciated. If you’re having trouble communicating, there are lots of great articles and books that can help.
- Care about your appearance (without being vain). Remember when you and your spouse were first dating? You most likely tried to put your best foot forward and put thought and effort into your appearance.
- Constant communication, which includes good listening and feeling understood.
- Good sex, which means you need to learn how to give each other pleasure by telling each other what you like (and do not like). You need to learn to read each other moods and try to establish a positive emotional climate.
Here is a quick summary:
That is all… 7 simple components and you’ve got it.
Can it be that simple? Or there are some additional components you cannot live without?